Juice Cleanse 2012: drinking the juice, clearing the head, revising the novel

Done with the BluePrintCleanse juice cleanse!

I learned a few things from the cleanse, which I began with the intention of resetting my eating habits:

1) Drink more water
2) What I’m feeling is often thirst, not hunger
3) Eat more vegetables
4) Abstinence from chewing was a revelation.
5) Consider decreasing dairy in my diet, because during the prep, which excludes dairy, I felt tons better.

The juice cleanse wasn’t easy, but at no point did I feel hungry. I felt energized throughout. I fast (no food, no water) every year for Yom Kippur, and this was EONS less difficult to execute, because at no time did I feel hungry or listless. In fact, there was so much juice that most days, I “fell behind,” and wasn’t able to get every juice down. In fact, on two out of three days, I didn’t have time for one juice, and so I either excluded the beet juice or opted to only drink half of a beet juice (drink #5).

Really, I just missed CHEWING.

In sum…
Day 1: I found half the juices disgusting, but my energy level was amazing! Food cravings through the roof. No headache or any other physical discomfort. Lost one pound and one inch off my waistline since the cleanse prep. Walked 3.82 miles according to my fitbit.

Day 2: I found half the juices disgusting, but my energy level was through the roof, and I gained an incredible clarity and focus. Food cravings completely absent. The best day. Lost three pounds since the juice began, four pounds total since the cleanse prep. Walked 5.12 miles according to my fitbit.

Day 3: I found all the juices drinkable. I could drink the green juice without pinching my nose, and even the beet juice was kind of yummy. My energy level wasn’t as high as Day 2, but I found my mental clarity exhilarating. I also went to yoga at the end of the day and my fitbit says I walked 7.5 miles on Day 3. Lost five pounds total, four of it during the juice cleanse.

So would I do this again? I think I would. My cravings were reset. I’m sitting here on my first post-juice morning, eating pineapple, and wanting rice, but not much more.

Though I lost five pounds, I’m 110% sure it’s all water weight. The one inch I lost off my waistline happened during the prep for the cleanse, during which I eliminated meat and dairy. (Update: Though I gained a few of the pounds back over subsequent, post-cleanse days, it appears I lost 2 pounds from the cleanse process).

And I got a burst of energy in my writing. Which is always a good thing. I even wrote a draft of a short story.

My juice cleanse live blog after the jump…

DAY 1
Wake up and watch my husband eat oreos with a glass of milk. Bleah.
Hiding all the foodie/food tweeters. First thing hidden for the duration of this cleanse: @biggayicecream

10:20am omg. This green juice is DISGUSTING. Take 2 more gulps with my nose pinched. meanwhile, watching my husband pouring a bowl of Cap’n Crunch. He giggles at my Green Juice Face. I scream, “BE SUPPORTIVE!” putting green juice in fridge to continue drinking in 10 min.

10:45am Almost done. Pinching nose and gulping. Husband now eating bagel + cream cheese and smirking.

11:00am I just held out a capful of juice cleanse green juice out to Scarlet the Wiener Dog. Who scampered up. Sniffed it. And RAN AWAY: NOT INTERESTED.
But the next juice, the pineapple thingie, looks promising. Held out a small tsp to Scarlet the Wiener Dog. Who scampered up. Sniffed. And lapped it up.

My friend just messaged me, “to be fair, dogs will eat their own poop.”

1:15pm Pineapple juice thingie is ok. I have peed 3 times in the past hour. I have no headache. I feel pretty normal. I am thinking about a Shake Shack burger. And I haven’t had a Shake Shack burger in like, 3 months. But I’m not hungry. I wonder if “craving thought detox” is part of the cleanse. If so, all these junk food thoughts are getting purged right about now.
Also thinking about going for a walk. Really should be revising my novel. Can’t focus.

1:45pm Ok, crushed that pineapple juice about 30 minutes later. Dammit. That means the next juice is the green.

Holy crap. I keep having to pee. Hard to write. Everytime I get to the cusp of an idea/a scene/a word/a sentence, my bladder calls.

3:30pm Drinking the green juice. Haaate it. Pinching my nose. Drinking it. It makes me want a Shake Shack burger. This is still better than fasting on Yom Kippur.

3:45pm Chugged the last of the green juice, nose pinched. And guess what? That’s the last green juice of the day! *happy dance*

3:52pm I tweet that it’s hard for me to focus/revise a novel while on a juice cleanse.

3:53pm My friend Alex replies that his juice cleanse “allowed him a breakthrough.” This gives me hope. Alex further elucidates, “You’ll feel like a crazy person for most of the first day,” adding that by the 2nd day, I’ll feel some clarity. Okay. This makes me feel much better. Like there’s hope.

6:18pm They say you’re supposed to drink water or tea in between the juices. How? I’m constantly peeing and not at all thirsty. And as soon as I’ve finished one juice, it feels like the next one’s up.

Taking a taste of the lemon juice. Not bad! I’d drink this even if I weren’t cleansing. But holding off. I’ve got a book party to attend, and I don’t want to have to pee throughout the whole thing. Going to drink it after I get back home in a couple hours.

Getting curious. Opening the beet juice and having a taste. I think the beet juice might be worse than the green juice. Yah, it’s “fruitier” in taste, but more like very sour orange juice with big ginger. No. Since I’m running behind now on juices, I may skip that tonight. Or just drink 1/4.

I keep thinking about the “juice cleansing writing breakthrough” that Alex mentioned.

9:50pm Home from the Writers Room party! And guzzled down my lemon juice. Now pondering the cashew juice. I have SO MUCH energy. I thought I’d be listless and starving–but I am neither hungry nor listless. I was completely energized walking to the party, and energized throughout the party. I even resisted the cake without much fanfare.

Feel like going for a run! Feel like going out for a walk! But I won’t–because if I do, I will WANT TO EAT A PIZZA/HAMBURGER/CUPCAKE. End of day cravings are stronger than daytime cravings. I have memories of the smell of pizza wafting down the street tonight on my way home from the party. Oh, did I tell you? I could also smell cake (I could smell CAKE!) when I was downstairs at McNally Jackson.

So I’ll stay inside. And not confront cravings. And eat my cashew juice. Ohyah, I am skipping that beet juice. So disgusting.

And I’m learning that I need to drink a LOT more water. Apparently, what I think is hunger might actually be thirst.

11:15pm Sipping (and “chewing”) my yummy cashew drink. Finally a *filling* drink that I also find incredibly yummy. My favorite of the day. Of course, I’m reading a food blog.

DAY 2
10:30am I weigh myself after “voiding.” I’ve lost 3 pounds since the cleanse, 4 pounds since prep started. WTF.

3:23pm Wow. Zero food cravings today. When I went to the grocery store, chocolate and cheese were just like, things. I felt no connection to them (I normally think they are Comfort and Bliss, really that’s what they mean to me). When I walk, I feel like i’m floating. I have so much clarity and focus and energy; I’m piling through work that I’ve been sitting on for weeks. Am I dead?

4:01pm Green juice is now a touch less disgusting. BTW, my husband had a taste of it and was all, “Oh! This is delicious! I’d drink this even if I weren’t fasting!” UGGGGGH. Meanwhile, I am the one who has to drink it. He also drank the beet and said THAT was delicious. I think the beet juice is more disgusting than the green.

9:00pm Feeling AWESOME. Like I-could-go-for-a-run-and-not-faint-awesome. Could take long walks. Wish I could feel like this ALL the time. Clarity. Floating. Like otherworldly.

Just learned parsley is a stimulant.

DAY 3
12:30pm Feeling not as good as I did on Day 2, but still clear-headed and making way on a short story (wtf? a short story!). Suddenly have uh, these urgent bathroom demands-that-are-not-number-1-in-the-morning. It’s like a flash flood.

9:10pm Home from yoga class. STARVING for the first time since I started the cleanse. Chugging down a lemon drink, which btw, is drink #4. There are not enough hours in the day to drink 6 juices! I’ve fallen behind 2 out of the 3 days.

10:00pm And I’ve got 2.5 drinks to go! Guzzle down the last of the lemonade.

10:30pm: Guzzling beet juice. Suddenly find it completely drinkable. Of course. On the last night.

11:45pm Cashew. Last drink! Hurrah!

11:50pm STOMACH MAKING ALL KINDS OF NOISES. GRAND FINALE JUICE CLEANSE MUSIC. Holy Crap. Toilet time.