my (@czilka) tweet of the day:
I don’t need an iPad. I can hold my shitty iPod Touch & pretend I’m a giant.
Spring doldrums complicated by recent news that saddens me further. Distractions welcome! Including memes inspired by television (specifically, the Cinemax 60 second thing where stars ask costars questions–I’m pretending to be a famous star right now, promoting a hot new movie with great reviews):
Show up early or fashionably late? Why?
I used to show up early, but now I show up fashionably late, because when you show up early to a party, it gets real awkward, and you end up doing party-prep chores. p.s. if you’re MY party guest, I really like it when you show up early.
Lady MacBeth or Juliet?
Both those bitches die, don’t they? On the one hand, Lady MacBeth is a powerful bitch who commits suicide…and on the other hand, Juliet gets to experience love even for a brief moment before committing suicide. Power, love. Power, love. Can’t I have both, and still live? No? Okay. Power. Because in the end, Juliet doesn’t have love, either. Might as well have power.
Braces or glasses?
Been there, done both. Glasses. You can take them off.
Glam it up or go casual?
Glam it up. If I’m not going to have fun, I might as well have my armor of fashion.
Dress up fancy for dinner or “I can wear jeans to this place, right?”
In the paradox of all things…to this question, I reply, “I can wear jeans to this place, right?” Because I’m in California; jeans ARE fashion.
A sip or make it a double?
A sip. Unless you’re hawt. Then i’m making it a double.
Talk on the phone or send a text?
Send a text. I hate talking on the phone. Moreover, it seems everyone I know hates talking on the phone; I know this, because no one will take my call.
Have the ability to fly, or live underwater?
Fly! I have no interest in living underwater. I would really detest having to eat seafood everyday.
Play a drug dealer or an exotic dancer with a heart of gold?
Exotic dancer with a heart of gold. Behold my muffin top! And my heart of gold!
Change a diaper or honey, can you come here a second?
“Honey, can you come here a second?” is a recurring question in our household. Someday, I’m guessing that that will entail changing an adult diaper. But for now, I’m holding off on changing diapers. And besides, “Honey can you come here a second?” holds an element of surprise. It’s something different EVERY time. Whee–! Is it a zit? A boil? A spider that needs killing? Dog puke? A gray hair? A screw that needs a power drill? A dead possum?
Do a British accent or a Southern accent?
Korean chick! Doing a British accent! Doing a Southern accent! Which offends you/surprises you more? That’s the one I’d pick.
Be the one driving the car, or riding on the hood?
On the hood! Woohoo!
80,000 words 