Juice Cleanse 2012

I’m doing a juice cleanse.

It seems like everyone does a juice cleanse because they’re a bunch of hippies for weight loss, but that’s not my game plan.

I have a massive sugar addiction. I love sugar. I am like Buddy the Elf! Like him, I would put sugar on EVERYTHING if socially acceptable. Buddy doesn’t care whether or not it is socially unacceptable to eat gallons of candy, candy canes, candy corn, and syrup! He carries around a small maple syrup bottle in his sleeve, which is the Raddest Thing Ever.

This sugar addiction has been in my life since I was a kid, when I would dip boiled hotdogs into (take ahold of your gag reflex) SUGAR (but since I’m a sugar addict, I don’t find it gross at all).

I’m doing this juice cleanse to reset and rid myself of a sugar addiction that has me adding 6 packets of sugar to a decaf coffee. It’s so shameful–I add two packets when the barista turns his head, and then I add another two when he turns his head again, until I get all 6 packets of sugar into the coffee.

You see, I don’t want to hurt his feelings. His coffee doesn’t suck. In fact, it’s delicious. It’s the best coffee I’ve found in NYC. But I love sugar.

Truth be told, I’d add more sugar packets if I could. But by the time I get all 6 packets in, the coffee’s already lukewarm.

Other sugar addicts will understand. When I told one of my door(wo)men to look out for my juice delivery, she asked, “Are you juice cleansing?”

Yes.
I told her about the sugar thing. She smiled and then reached down below the desk and brought out…a box of sugar. It’s her personal sugar. She told me, “Six sugar packets isn’t a lot at all! Try TWELVE!” I wanted to hug her tall and lean body (not all sugar addicts look the same). I wondered if she had a special maple syrup bottle in her sleeve.

You see? We’re out there, sneaking our boxes of sugar to work, snacking on our fruity mentos, carrying bottles of maple syrup in our sleeves, and pouring honey straight into our mouths (oh, did I not mention that yet?).

I totally understand. You’re my tribe.

So I’m hoping the juice cleanse will help me tone down my sugar addiction. I don’t think it’ll ever go away, but I’d like to work myself to a place where 1-2 sugar packets in a decaf coffee’ll do it for me.

Because I admit–eating too much sugar isn’t healthy.

I’ll let you know how it goes. I’ve been prepping for the BluePrint Cleanse for the past few days–cutting out meat (not difficult), cutting out dairy (not too difficult), and upping vegetables and fruit (not difficult at all). And beginning tomorrow, all I will do is drink assigned juices for three days straight.

I will, however, continue revising my novel throughout the cleanse. I am going to finish revising this thing in 2012.

The facts thus far:

• I’m doing the “easiest” BPC cleanse called the Renovation. The levels differ not in juice volume, but in green juice volume. The Renovation has the least amount of green juice. I’m not a big steak plus hamburgers plus processed foods kind of woman, but I’m also not big on being hard on myself for no reason. So, I’m going with the easiest cleanse.
• I’ve been prepping for the past few days as I stated above. Not following it strictly (I had minestrone soup for dinner, and that does contain starchy vegetables, but whatever). So far, I’ve lost a pound, and I’ve been filling my gullet with all kinds of food.
• I’m very excited about the juice cleanse.

Also, I happened to on an impromtu walk to the East River with a friend this afternoon. On the horizon was the Domino Sugar Factory/Refinery. The coincidence was…sweet.